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I Miss You Poem

Sometimes in the watches of the night... I miss you,

and in the morning when I wake my heart yearns for you,

... for a moment.

 

Then the truth comes crashing in again, uninvited, but real,

Like a husband’s anger, that strikes out from behind the smiles,

that lurks behind the jokes and promises, and has its own way

because it’s bigger and louder than my small plea’s and reasoning’s.

 

Sometimes in the brightness of the day ... I miss you,

And in the seeing other as-it-should-be families I wish you were here,

... for a moment.

 

Then the truth kicks away the longing and shoves the dream out of the way,

Like the shock temper of a lover, that lies beside the tenderness,

Or the unannounced reacting of a day you long to love but can’t,

The roars like a bear, dead to the innocent explanations of little ones with

puzzled eyes, but who are learning quick to play the imposed games

of ‘happy families’ and ‘let’s pretend it never happened.’



Sometimes in the stillness of the evening ... I miss you,

And in the aloneness of singlehood my heart longs for you,

... for a moment.


Then the delights of peace outweigh the fading dreams and things that never really were.

And the delicious relief causes my heart to sing,

Un-thwarted now by the wrong ‘rightness’ of another, the true-me comes out to play!

And the lovely laughter of little ones, grown bigger now, and finding too

that they are free to be the selves they’re meant to be,

And the slow realising that we can be a truly happy family.

 

Sometimes now, in the watches of the night

... I hardly miss you at all.

 

Written by a Hampshire mother of four